Tragedy Is Life
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| The Long Road Tragedy Is Life |
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Wednesday, March 31 Crappy days in the life of a Dad Son calls "Dad I found this axe in the yard and... we're at the ER now" Daughter says "My friend Veronica taught me how to apply makeup" Son says "Remember that axe? Remember that tree that hangs over the house?" Daughter says "I met this guy... he's 28" Son says "So my friends and I were hanging out and we decided we wanted to go for a joyride... and since you had the coolest car of any of our dads..." Daughter says "You know how we were in Vegas Last weekend? Well (insert name of jerk boyfriend here) and I thought it'd be really romantic if we..." Son calls "I only get one phone call so don't hang up on me..." Daughter calls "I didn't have dinner ready before he got home and he got angry and..." Lucky dad-o-mine never got any of those posted by Joel | 5:02 PM Tuesday, March 30 I'm was up at 6:20 this morning... I fell asleep around 3:30... I'm surprisingly awake... I'm considering not going back to sleep... I may go get some breakfast... probably not... insomnia will be fun... pretty soon I'll be doing this on the weekends when I'm with Krystal... I'll become one of the people that get up early... gets up early and runs... those of you who have been with me on new years know that I get... interesting when I get no sleep... this doesn't translate into written word very well... mostly cause I type so freakin slow... but I'm having fun screwing with a friend right now... my coach just called me... he wants me to go move stuff... I'm gonna die posted by Joel | 7:51 AM Monday, March 29 Do not meddle in the affairs of the dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup. Death: the Ultimate Contraceptive I mean, she's so sweet and nice... you know she's killed somebody When in doubt, lick an angry black man. Last time I put a knife up to your throat, what did I say? One could say that the Earth is rotating eternally on God's pointer and that He is an extremely good basketball player. While a flaming head may look good, it rarely has practical qualities. Premarital kayaking is against God's will. By the time you read this sentence, you will be closer to dying. Any sentence that starts out 'a fun way to kill' is creepy and shouldn't be said by a banana. "When I got into town my tour guide showed me where, in the war of 1812, the British Army burned down the original library of Congress. This may be a little late, but, um... sorry." -Tony Blair Did you know that you have a 16.7% chance of being Chinese? One day Canada will take over France. No one will notice. Whenever I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and they scream and try to get it off, I have to laugh because...what is that thing? You know you are vain when someone is looking deeply into your eyes and you are studying your reflection in theirs. They were surrendering so fast, you'd think they were French. She's from Satanland also known as Hell also known as Canada! You know how Jesus worked miracles? That's how TiVo works. My sister's a little pink fuzzy spawn of Satan. In case of emergency, women and children may be used as floatation devices. I have to keep my mind as far away from that topic as possible, and I think pickles is far enough. People think the floor is a way to transport yourself from one room to another, when in reality it's the biggest shelf in your house. Corn dogs are like carnivores' popsicles. One out of every one person dies. "It's God's job to forgive Bin Laden. It's our job to arrange the meeting." -U.S. Marine Corps It's a guys' world, girls just make the messes. Well, ya know, they didn't have a PlayStation 2 so they lit stuff on fire for fun. "No one will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy." -Henry Kissinger How can something look so much like a woman and a bird and be a man? (talking about Michael Jackson) If Adam were a black woman who molested children, I'd be ashamed of him. posted by Joel | 2:27 AM Friday, March 26 Braden Room 224... with one of my friends even... life is now better posted by Joel | 4:40 PM So I got angry today... not particularly so... just a little bit... did something stupid though... I hit one of the pillars in our building thinking "it's a support. It's got to be concrete." well I was wrong.. turns out the thing is made of paper-substance... It crumpled... campus safety came to my room and everything... luckily since it was only paper it'll only cost me like 100 dollars... I just won't be eating out like I thought for a few weeks but as long as they can give me those few weeks It won't change anything else... sounds like I'll still get a cheap room and everything... I'll probably have to write a apology letter but other than that... I'll be fine... I was shakin like a leaf when the officer asked for my I.D.... I already knew everything I just wrote too... I had confessed... which was funny cause I was just here cooling off before I was gonna go do that on my own... cause after I hit the thing I was really angry... anyway I shook after the deal was done pretty much... now I'm pretty calm... but I have to go to room selection which is not a calming experiance... at least I'm gonna see Krystal tonight posted by Joel | 3:39 PM Thursday, March 25 I hope everyone likes their new icons... sorry David and Claire... you two are hard... and It's bedtime... I'll find some tomorrow posted by Joel | 3:02 AM Wednesday, March 24 I learned how to make pictures into buttons... wasn't exactly hard but I'm still proud posted by Joel | 11:43 PM I almost blogged something very personal that none of you want to hear on here... I must be drunk or something... Oh well... last week I had to watch this really crappy play called "Marisol"... it was really very bad... now today I had to write a review on it... and, stuck in my memory, I found some cool parts that made me think ... I dunno why but I do that... when I think something is terrible I analyze it and find the interesting parts in it... I want to see it again now... frustrating brain... just allow something to be crappy posted by Joel | 4:35 PM Tuesday, March 23 NEW HOMESTARRUNNER CARTOON!!! it's kinda cool... at least I think so... and it's not about duck rape... which is a plus... posted by Joel | 1:17 AM Monday, March 22 I stumbled across this post today and thought it very relevent A recent post by Lisa got me thinking about ducks. This is by mike posted by Joel | 3:00 PM Wednesday, March 17 It's Saint Patrick's day and I don't have to be to class until 1 tomorrow... unfortunately I have to go to a play tonight and my parents are gonna be here in a few hours... oh well... such is life posted by Joel | 6:35 PM Tuesday, March 16 I killed a man last night... I brutally hit him with a rounded object until he was dead... I made sure noone was looking and through my contacts this murder will be covered up and no authority shall know about it... I now have another target... while the last was a short round fiscal Republican male my next target shall be a tall blonde who favors Bunnys... completely random in my choices... I shall be silent as snowfall and dark in the shadows... I will kill all... in other words... I made my first sock wars hit posted by Joel | 2:23 PM I just watched Vanilla Sky... oh my freakin gosh... Craziest feckin movie I've seen... I think even crazier than than Fight Club.... you watch the coolest movies in college... I'm freakin tripped right now... I should be going to bed but my mind is like running that through... this isn't quite as strange as after Donnie Darko because this explains what happened to you but still... I won't sleep much tonight... What if God was one of us.... little things that you can catch and feel really smart... I wanna take a film asthetics class just to study this stuff.... now I contemplate getting into the film industry (not gonna happen).... anyway I need to begin the process of winding down for bed... this may take a while posted by Joel | 3:04 AM Thursday, March 11 SOCK WARS!!!! A game we are playing in my dorm complex.... aren't we so cool The point is to tag your target before you get tagged. Last man/ woman standing wins! Don't tell anyone who your target is! You must tag your target with a rolled up sock [no ballast allowed - that means don't put anything hard or lethal in your sock!] NO ONE can see you do it - this is a game of stealth; be creative Safe zones: during class, places of work while in session, dorm rooms, cafeteria, churches/temples while worshiping, funeral homes, club meetings (i.e. sorority/fraternity, ect.) No one may be tagged in these areas. - you can lure your target out of a safe zone. Mano a mano - no accomplices (our RA thinks this means man to man... she's not proficient in language we shall say) When you tag someone, their target becomes your new target. When you are tagged, you must give up your target to the person who tagged you. (Please slip a note under my door stating who is out, and how and where they were tagged.) I have final say. Any disagreements and/or discrepancy about the rules will be ruled upon by me. If you have any questions, ask me. Remember, the point is to have fun and get to know the people in your hall. Don't take the game too seriously 2 amendments Socks cannot be hairier than Chewbaca Socks cannot smell stronger than the Force posted by Joel | 3:53 PM Tuesday, March 9 I'm feeling pretty sick... Krystal's Gma said it be the flu... I hope she's wrong... anyway I talked to Craig on Sunday night... had a pleasant "take care with my daughter" chat... was pretty civil and such... went to make sure that Krystal's Aunt was ok for her surgery, Gastric Bypass... turned out well... she was out of critical care and into her own room by 6 that night... she'll get to go home soon... anyway I got to be part of the family kinda there and such... twas fun... I've never really done that with a girlfriend before... the total being two officially I wouldn't really think this odd I guess... My First girlfriend I never met or even talked to a single parent so that wasn't really an issue... It was obviously not intended to last any longer than it did... as for Krystal, I kinda assumed that I'd be getting to know her family while I was down here but that didn't really happen... would have been difficult to work anyway... but now we're seeing her Grandmother and Uncle a lot... this is kinda interesting... anyway I don't have much to say other then that so in essence this was kinda a waste of both our time... I'm gonna go waste said time in another way... homework perchance... who knows posted by Joel | 2:28 PM Friday, March 5 sometime two people's feeling have a desperate need to be at the same place at the same time... one of them has to step on the other one... now in a normal world situation this is often the end of the story... however in the case that those two people have some sort of a relationship the feeling doing the stepping is ofton kind enough to get off... but those two feelings still need to be at that same spot... thusly the situation is normally reversed... seeing as the initial feeling (feeling A) just stepped on Feeling B it will allow it's self to be stepped on for a given period of time... however this sympathy doesn't last forever... eventually Feeling A will get so sore from being stepped on and once again go to stepping on feeling B... this will continue on for some time resulting only in the furthered soreness of both feelings... something has to happen to cause this cycle to stop... some outside force (their owners) has to force the feelings apart... there are two ways to do this... to drag the feelings apart... this causes either a weakening or a break in the relationship... the second way to get the feelings apart is for each of the owners to step between the feelings thusly becoming closer and stengthening the relationship... quite a few of us in our group have had this happen recently... like between Sean and I... now I don't feel any closer to Sean... In fact I feel even farther from him... but my feelings have healed and I can restart my side of our connection.... but this is the harder path... It all becomes much easier if instead we had stepped between our feelings..... I hope we can do it that way in the rest of our conflicts posted by Joel | 10:44 PM I just deleated 72 episodes of Naruto off my computer totalling over 11 gigs... and I just started the process to recieve 95 episodes of Rurouni Kenshin... I love my internet connection posted by Joel | 12:52 AM Wednesday, March 3 I have just watched the most infuriating movie I have ever seen... O.... modern day interpretation of Othello.... I now want deperately to break something... It's dangerous for me to watch this movie... Blaine prolly won't survive the night... I say Blaine because I'm pretty sure Nataniel is faster... If I was up there I could vent said anger on trees or Jojo or something (I still haven't collected for little man's insurance) but down here... If I break something... I owe thousands of dollars at least... I need to take the martial art that they offer here... I forget which one it is... anyway luckily for you I won't be seeing anyone who reads this today... Here Blaine... Oh Here Blaine...................... crunch posted by Joel | 5:17 PM Now it is finally time for me to reveal My awesome daring discovery that you all have been waiting for and even David has been fearing..... Be prepared for this to be so mindblowingly incredible that your minds will pop... the ads at the top of all pages on Blogspot are chosen by Blogger based on the posts on your page... This is one weeks worth Me: One Flew over the Cookoo Couscous from Israel Tonight and Forever Krystal: Suicidal over your Debt Suicide thoughts WorkLifeBalance.com Work-Life Balance Get Life is Good Just Be Nice Dad: Pond & Watergarden Store TraVek Arizona Fish Ponds My-Yard.com Lee Family Koi Farm Protect Fish from Birds Fish Ponds Fresh Baked Cookies Lacey: Birthday ecard Happy Birthday Songs Netflix – Free Trial Crazy Happy at Amazon.com DVD Direct 4 Less JoJo: Natural Acne Treatment Download Electronic Songs Blog News Free Commenting Fotolog.net Blog For Free Download Movies here shown it thinks that I am insane, interested in isreal, and... German Krystal is obviously a troubled workaholicwho needs to get happy The most important thing in my father's life is his garden... and he likes cookies too Lacey is the ditzy girl who is popular and still acts like she is still in highschool Jojo is the biggest geek this side of Bill Gates These are all unavoidably true statements that cannot be changed for the rest of our lives... and you all thought it was gonna be something actually cool... ha posted by Joel | 1:19 PM Tuesday, March 2 Warning! Teen Girl Squad has officially become too stupid to watch.... but go ahead and try anyway posted by Joel | 1:39 PM Monday, March 1 Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe and the biran fguiers it out aynawy posted by Joel | 2:05 AM |
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