Tragedy Is Life
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| The Long Road Tragedy Is Life |
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Thursday, November 28 So my Grandmother... Who's like 87 or something just watched Spaceballs with us.. I think she just about died... anyway... Everybody's running out of gas it looks like on these things.. Jenny officailly quit.. Rob hasn't posted in hecka days... Reber has his mind elsewhere half the time... Krystal is slightly irregular.. I'm talking about how nobody else is posting.. how sad is that... oh well... my dog just stole my spot to sleep... grrrr... I'll have to sleep on the other side of the couch now... that'll mess me all up... anyway.. talking to Krystal now so bye posted by Joel | 10:53 PM Happy Thanksgiving everybody... It's pretty much over for most people prolly... Oh well... Ours was pretty good... 7 of us... 3 extended family and us... Grandma's staying... That'll be interesting... she gets my room.. stinks... Anyway.. I'm gonna go get movies. Bye posted by Joel | 5:55 PM Wednesday, November 27 hey.. the wanting someone's opinion thing means you're supposed to comment... thx Jenny Anyway, bad stuff happened yesterday... not really much for talking about it though.... I've been talking to Jenny a lot recently(prolly the reason she's the only one who's commented so far) and have decided that it is rather enjoyable... makes me understand some of the sentiments floating around... not share them but I certainly can see how they've come to be... more insider stuff but that's what I'm all about... I just put all my football stuff in a bag to give back to the school... I get to keep both my jerseys and I could buy my helmet If I wanted... My helmet was falling apart all year so I prolly don't wanna spend 100 somethin dollars it takes to buy it.... I'll just go to this banquet thingy and get my name called... Wish I got a VOL patch out of the deal... then go home... If I'm lucky they'll name me best lineman or something... they usually give those to the guys who aren't gonna have a shot in college though and I both understand and sympathise with that line of thinking so I don't really mind if they do it that way. I got my player of the week award... that's actually pretty rare for a lineman to get... I don't need anything else.. the colleges will give me anything I need for my self esteem... I'd be nice to be recognized by the coaches for once though.. Oh well... and I completely forgot I was writting this for like 3 hours... oops... anyway bye posted by Joel | 1:34 PM Tuesday, November 26 Hey I stumbled across this thing that I wrote a while ago and I wanted someone's opinion The Irony of Fate Link glared across the room at this most familiar of enemies. “How many times will we go through this before you are satisfied?” For many moments, the statement elicited nothing more then a simple stare and the sound of stretching leather as his dark opponent griped his great weapon even tighter. Suddenly a voice resounded through Links head “Just one more.” Links jaw dropped at both the unexpected intrusion into his mind and the realization that this was the first time his demon had ever communicated with him. ‘What does it mean? Like most of my life so far this has to be a puzzle too…. doesn’t it? Does that mean he’s finally gonna win? How would he know that? Have I become predictable?’ Link came out of his questions to see that his adversary was already moving, surprisingly fast, towards him. This too was strange… Link was always the first to move. The first in everything except the first to fall. Apparently this one thought him ready to change that. ‘Two can play that game my friend’. For the first Time in as long as he could remember Link lowered his sword. “Fine then, you tire of this game. So do I. Take this kill. I no longer will endure your trick.” And then link found himself in a new position, Sprawled on his back without a weapon in his hand. “It lives!” Link turned his head towards the noise to see Navi fluttering next to his head. ‘Where am I now… and where is my Sword? Oh there it is. Now… why am I in the tree house? Better ask Navi.’ “Hey… good morning to you too.” “Whatever, you feeling ok? You’ve been asleep for hecka days.” “I dunno yet. I had the weirdest dream. It felt like it lasted for a week. It was very real too. Ummmm why are we in my Tree house?” “We brought you here after the battle. Once we made sure he was good and dead of course.” “Who’s we… and who’s he for that matter?” “We is me and all the Sages. We had a time getting you past all the people celebrating. They thought you were invincible and wouldn’t mind being carried around on their shoulders even with your wounds. Crazy lot they are, not worth all the work we did if you ask me.” “It wasn’t for them… you should know that by now. And as for he… That was Gannondorf right?” “Well duh… who else could have hurt you that bad. Or have you been fighting for the past 7 years?” Link simply grumbled something about it being to early for reasonable thought and kicked off the blankets. He moved to start his normal morning excersizes and felt the jolt of pain come from his arms. Then the fatigue set in. It was like all the dreaming he had done last night had given the normal effect a week worth of fighting for your life gives to his body. He then looked up to see Navi; jaw-dropped staring at the multiple new wounds he had. ‘You would think she didn’t know I had fought the biggest fight of my life just a day ago’. “Where are all the old scars? And where did these come from?” “What are you talking about? These should be the ones from my fight with Gannondorf. See? This one’s from when he… no that’s where it slashed me… but they’re completely closed. They can’t be from last night, or from yesterday for that matter.” “They look about a week old Link.” Link simply stared at them. ‘They can’t be real, they can’t be real.’ But they were, and there was nothing he could do about it right now. What he could do right now is get some breakfast and try to stretch his sore limbs. “They’re just scars Navi. Something I’ve had all my life and very rarely do I know where all of them are from. Lets just get some breakfast and forget about it.” And with that Link grabbed his gear, gritted his teeth against the pain as he always did and marched out of the room, Navi trailing slowly behind looking very worried. After a very light breakfast of berries and a roll of bread Link was out in his practice field working his body through it’s soreness. After a half an hour of this he was finally back to his normal self though still very tired. Now He could no longer keep his thoughts on eliminating his pain and they began to wander into the mountain of questions he had piled up after last night. He wad been trapped in a room with that… demon for a week by all accounts of memory. Fighting every second of it. As soon as he beat the thing once it would simply start the scene over again, with him holding his weapon in front of him and his back to the wall. Then his sword would lunge out and he would be forced to follow it. Not until the very end did the thing move first. It always started with Link and it always ended with Link. At first He thought Gannondorf had actually won their battle and was tormenting him through this thing. But then he started to feel it, The cold passionless drive that the thing had. Everything about Gannondorf always had passion in it. He was always full of unending hate. But Link found not a trace of that hate in what he had faced then. He felt no emotion at all. All that was there was an apathetic urge to kill. Not for revenge, not for hate, not even for sport, It was like a machine doing its duty. Gannondorf would not have been able to stand this thing any more then Link could. Gannondorf would have longed to see true evil come out of this thing and Link… Link was reminded too much of himself, blindly killing because that was all he knew. It was like he was once again being forced to fight his shadow. The only solution he could come up with was that the Goddesses were trying to either give him what they thought he wanted, what they had always thought he wanted, or this was training for the next battle. His bet was on the latter. posted by Joel | 4:43 PM Monday, November 25 had a really nice little chat with Jenny today... don't kill me reber but yeah... anyway... the other side doesn't indicate anyone at great fault... if you don't understand that then you're not supposed to... well since I am writting this .. if that's true then noone was meant to get it.. oh well. Applications suck... there's a lot of writing involved... my dad was kind enough to do a lot of the work for me while I was in football but he certainly can't do the personal statements for me... such is life When elephants fight it's the grass that suffers posted by Joel | 7:56 PM Sunday, November 24 Reber's life sucks... now I've just to figure out wether or not it's his fault... It certainly doesn't seem that way but the only side I've ever heard is his... not that it sounds very one-sided... anyway... I'm trying to make up for his lack of blogging but failing miserably... I got nothing more. except another quote maybe They are quick, faster than anything I have ever seen and doubt I will ever see again. Their claws, such as I can only describe those sharp nails, shot out with a blind swiftness that I scarce believed anyone even saw it coming and going. But I did and I knew where and when it would strike and so their only strength, for they lacked any intelligence at all, fastly became nothing more than a superficial advantage. I was faster than it all, something beyond the vampyres, as if I could think an action and it was done before they could even register my movement. And for a minute I let my ego run away with it all and I thought I saw a fear within them that made me think of something so utterly wrong and yet so utterly right. I was their god and they were in the presence of my wrath. Before I knew what had happened my swords had already flown about the room and before the night was over there was a neat pile of torsos, heads and limbs. The boundless scent of blood covered me with a blanket of warmth such that I would never want anything else. And I was at a high, the pinnacle of ecstasy as my red-stained blades clattered to the ground and there was no one in the room but me, the hunger and the blood. I plummeted to my knees and there was truly nothing else as the craving began to dwindle away, yet leaving itself a gnawing in the back of my stomach that I immediately thought was wrong. There was a light-headedness that came soon and I wandered my vision at the vague scenes of the ballroom, looking for a help that was mysteriously vacant. posted by Joel | 9:57 PM huzzah.... three cheers for not being able to feel your arm.... at least the part that's hurt... ice packs were such a wonderful invention... and I'm listening to the mp3s that david gave me... I love these things... I need to get Kazaa or something.... anyway I need to get started on some application essays and Jenny is talking to me so bye Oh me the infant singin' out a key My innnocense brings me to Your feet I could never be a thing without the melody That's in me like a symphony So rearrange and make the change with this failure of calamity I Am I am increase, You are You are release And I believe that one day I will be free Free from all the worries that fight to bring me bruises Free of all the frustrations that keep burnin' my fuses posted by Joel | 12:38 PM So..... we lost... again... it's all over... nothing more to do or say... Nothing else I will ever be able to do to make them coaches thing about me as a prospect more... Now the ball's in their court.... man my arm hurts... as you all know if you read my dad's blog I hurt my arm during the game.... on their last score.... it sucked bad.... I've been injury free for my whole career and then on my last defensive play... likely ever... I get hurt... well anyway. enough moaning and complaining from me.... I finally get to go home after school and all that jazz... time for celebration... k maybe not but close enough. Goodnight all I love her, you distorted her view God help me not to distort you So let's just say that you're blessed Blessed that I never met you posted by Joel | 12:17 AM Wednesday, November 20 apparantly I've started a rash of people wishing for best friends.... maybe I'm not as alone out there as I thought.... that shouldn't make me feel better but it does.... I think I need to feel better about it since I've got plenty of good friends just not one the I consider my best. Isn't it great when you realise that your life isn't as bad as you thought... Yes I have been reading New Jersey Guy.... anyway... I'm gonna be going a full week without talking to Krystal at all... that kinda sucks.... sorry about the krystal talk david but... well at least it's not happy girlfriend talk.... anyway... I need to do my Physics... bye posted by Joel | 7:33 PM Monday, November 18 We are In the playoffs now.... I'm not even sure wether or not I like that fact..... I'm starting to get really tired of these stupid gasers... If you don't don't know what gasers are.... well... they're really hard... I think I almost killed myself doing them today.... But anyway, such is life. As anyone who reads this knows, Krystal came up during the weekend for my birthday... We had a blast, she killed me several billion times.... It was all cool.... I even got Godiva Chocolates out of the deal (cool books and a frog too). Truxton didn't come... this is the second year in a row that that's happened... It's getting to me more then it did last time.... I mean I didn't even expect him to have a gift or anything.... just come play laser tag with us for free and eat our pizza... It'll probably be a while before I talk to him again.. Then again I'm probably just as likely to go hang out with him tomorrow....... Damnit the guy I call my best friend was too busy playing dnd to come to my birthday party... That pisses me off to no ends... I always envied people who really had best friends...I always knew Truxton was out for himself in our friendship but who else was I gonna turn to? I've got a few friends but If suddenly I started trying to be one of their best friends I think they would be a little freaked out..... THe closest friend I've ever had was Sharlene.... I knew absolutely everything about her and she knew far more then most about me.... that may be the problem... I don't think anybody will ever know everything about me... Maybe Krystal but I'm not ready yet... Still... for her to know everything would be far different then If my best friend knew everything... I mean she's my girlfriend... even the practical conontations of that are obvious.Who do I go to If we have a fight? I guess one of the things I'm scared of is turning out in the situation my dad has... except not even having the connection to younger people.... I mean he gets along fairly well with just about anybody but If you gave him the chance to hang out with his friends... I don't think he'd be able to... there'd be nobody for him to just hang out with... Anyway... just feeling lonely like everyone else I suppose.... dang feelings always going around getting beat up by everybody... It's a bad deal I tells ya. Am I ? There is no way that you can hide me. Am I ? Though you have put your fire inside me. Am I ? You've given me my answer can't you see ? I was ! I am ! and now I Will Be I WILL BE !!! posted by Joel | 10:38 PM Wednesday, November 13 I have to make a speach tomorrow... as a one of the seniors on the sonora high football team we are all supposed to make some form of statement to the Juniors. My dad had all kinds of ideas but.... I'm gonna actually have to say this stuff.... besides I've got another speach-type thing to do tomorrow.... well maybe. Anyway I need sleep cause I no doubt will get none tomorrow. Byers Quote: A day in L.A. And millions of faces Are looking for movement Cuz everything's stuck And everything's frozen And everyone's broken And nobody moves And everyone's scared That the motion will never come This is the incompletion Stuck in a line -Switchfoot posted by Joel | 10:13 PM Tuesday, November 12 The other day I caught Reber trying to steal one of my phrases. "Such is life" is a phrase I use when something I can't control goes wrong. Just yesterday I was talking to Truxton and he announced that he has adopted the French phrase "C'est la Vie" as his own. This promted us to try and figure out what it means. I was pretty sure that "Vie" was french for "life" so I naturally came to the conclusion that it meant "such is life" and was quite amused at the irony of the situation. I know now that C'est la Vie" means nothing of the sort but regardless of it's true meaning the frequency with which "such is life" has been popping up recently has not eluded my attention. Is it a sign? Is god trying to tell me to remember that phrase because the hard times are coming? Or am I just starting to go crazy? I count both options as equally likely, but whatever the case I'm glad for phases like that... It seems I may be needing them. Quote of the day:Chickity China the Chinese chicken You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin' Watchin' X-Files with no lights on We're dans la maison I hope the Smoking Man's in this one Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic Like Sting I'm tantric Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy Like Kurasawa I make mad films Okay, I don't make films But if I did they'd have a Samurai Gonna get a set a' better clubs Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs Just so my irons aren't always flying off the back-swing Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon 'Cause the cartoon has got the boom anime babes That make me think the wrong thing Verse of the day: And I say unto you that many shall come from the east and west and shall sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven -Matthew 8:11 posted by Joel | 9:20 AM Sunday, November 10 hey there... I had this whole big post all written out bu tI left it at home and as such cannot post it from Rob's house... This is just filler so I'll move on to uber quotes But your flag decal won't get you Into Heaven any more. They're already overcrowded From your dirty little war. Now Jesus don't like killin' No matter what the reason's for, And your flag decal won't get you Into Heaven any more. posted by Joel | 11:50 PM Friday, November 8 I've got a game today and It's raining!!! This is gonna be awesome... I'm absolutely made for the rain. Big guys always are.. Anyway I've got other stuff to say but I don't feel like doing so... tomorrow is C'Anne's birthday party... that's gonna be cool.... anyway I'm out for today Quote: So we talked all through that afternoon Talking about where we'd been We talked of the tiny difference Between ending and starting to begin. We talked because talking tells you things Like what you really are thinking about. But sometimes you can't find what you're feeling Till all the word run out. posted by Joel | 11:54 AM Thursday, November 7 Sorry If you didn't want to read that much but I felt like posting it... I'll talk later. posted by Joel | 12:26 PM There's a kid out on my corner -- hear him strumming like a fool Shivering in his dungarees -- but still he's going to school His cheeks are made of peach fuzz -- his hopes may be the same But he's signed up as a soldier out to play the music game There are fake patches on his jacket -- he's used bleach to fade his jeans With a brand new stay pressed shirt -- and some creased and wrinkled dreams His face a blemish garden -- but his eyes are virgin clear His voice is Chicken Little's -- But he's hearing Paul Revere When he catches himself giggling -- he forces up a sneer Though he'd rather have a milk shake -- he keeps forcing down the beer Just another folkie -- late in coming down the pike Riding his guitar -- he left Kid brother with his bike And he's got Guthrie running in his bones He's the hobo kid who's left his home And his Beatles records and the Rolling Stones This boy is staying acoustic. There's Seeger singing in his heart He hopes his songs will somehow start To heal the cracks that split apart America gone plastic And now there's Dylan dripping from his mouth He's hitching himself way down south To learn a little black and blues From old street men who paid their dues 'Cause they knew they had nothing to lose They knew it So they just got to it With cracked old Gibsons and red clay shoes Playing 1-4-5 chords like good news And cursed with skin that calls for blood They put their face and feet in mud But oh they learned the music from way down there The real ones learn it somewhere Strum your guitar -- sing it kid Just write about your feelings -- not the things you never did Inexperience -- it once had cursed me But your youth is no handicap -- it's what makes you thirsty Hey, kid you know you can hear your footsteps as you're kicking up the dust And the rustling in the shadows tells you secrets you can trust The capturing of whispers is the way to write a song It's when you get to microphones the music can go wrong You can't see the audience with spotlights in your eyes Your feet can't feel the highway from where the Lear jet flies When you glide in silent splendor in your padded limousines Only you are crying there behind the silver screen Now you battle dragons -- but they'll all turn into frogs When you grab the wheel of fortune -- you get caught up in the cog First your art turns into craft -- then the yahoos start to laugh Then you'll hear the jackals howl 'cause they love to watch the fall They're the lost ones out there feeding on the wounded and the bleeding They always are the first to see the cracks upon the walls When I started this song I was still thirty-three The age that Mozart died and sweet Jesus was set free Keats and Shelley too soon finished, Charley Parker would be And I fantasized some tragedy'd be soon curtailing me Well just today I had my birthday -- I made it thirty-four Mere mortal, not immortal, not star-crossed anymore I've got this problem with my aging I no longer can ignore A tame and toothless tabby can't produce a lion's roar And I can't help being frightened on these midnight afternoons When I ask the loaded questions -- Why does winter come so soon? And where are all the golden girls that I was singing for The daybreak chorus of my dreams serenades no more Yeah the minute man is going soft -- the mirror's on the shelf Only when the truth's up there -- can you fool yourself I am the aged jester -- who won't gracefully retire A clumsy clown without a net caught staggering on the high wire Yesterday's a collar that has settled round my waist Today keeps slipping by me, it leaves no aftertaste Tomorrow is a daydream, the future's never true Am I just a fading fire or a breeze passing through? Hello my Country I once came to tell everyone your story Your passion was my poetry And your past my most potent glory Your promise was my prayer Your hypocrisy my nightmare And your problems fill my present Are we both going somewhere? Step right up young lady -- Your two hundred birthdays make you old if not senile And we see the symptoms there in your rigor mortis smile With your old folks eating dog food and your children eating paint While the pirates own the flag and sell us sermons on restraint And while blood's the only language that your deaf old ears can hear And still you will not answer with that message coming clear Does it mean there's no more ripples in your tired old glory stream And the buzzards own the carcass of your dream? B*U*Y Centennial Sell 'em pre-canned laughter America Perennial Sing happy ever after There's a Dance Band on the Titanic Singing Nearer My God to Thee And the iceberg's on the starboard bow Won't you dance with me Yes I read it in the New York Times That was on the stands today It said that dreams were out of fashion We'll hear no more empty promises There'll be no more wasted passions To clutter up our play It really was a good sign The words went on to say It shows that we are growing up In oh so many healthy ways And I told myself this is Exactly where I'm at But I don't much like thinking about that Harry -- are you really so naive You can honestly believe That the country's getting better When all you do is let her alone Harry -- Can you really be surprised when it's there before your eyes when you hold the knife that carves her you live the life that starves her to the bone Good dreams don't come cheap You've got to pay for them If you just dream when you're asleep There is no way for them to come alive to survive It's not enough to listen -- it's not enough to see When the hurricane is coming on it's not enough to flee It's not enough to be in love -- we hide behind that word It's not enough to be alive when your future's been deferred What I've run through my body, what I've run through my mind My breath's the only rhythm -- and the tempo is my time My enemy is hopelessness -- my ally honest doubt The answer is a question that I never will find out Is music propaganda -- should I boogie, Rock and Roll Or just an early warning system hitched up to my soul Am I observer or participant or huckster of belief Making too much of a life so mercifully brief? So I stride down sunny streets and the band plays back my song They're applauding at my shadow long after I am gone Should I hold this wistful notion that the journey is worthwhile Or tiptoe cross the chasm with a song and a smile Well I got up this morning -- I don't need to know no more It evaporated nightmares that had boiled the night before With every new day's dawning my kid climbs in my bed And tells the cynics of the board room your language is dead And as I wander with my music through the jungles of despair My kid will learn guitar and find his street corner somewhere There he'll make the silence listen to the dream behind the voice And show his minstrel Hamlet daddy that there only was one choice Strum your guitar -- sing it kid Just write about your feelings -- not the things you never did Inexperience -- it once had cursed me But your youth is no handicap -- it's what makes you thirsty, hey kid Strum your guitar -- sing it kid Just write about your feelings -- not the things you never did Dance Band... posted by Joel | 12:20 PM Wednesday, November 6 Ha I'm in 5th period right now.... I followed the drama class to the computers cause David's in that class.. I'm particularly bored today... I got a bunch of MP3s from Reber but I can't play them til I get home to my own computer. It's like 40 hours of music though so I'm fairly happy about that... and so I meet Kierston or whatever the heck her name is.. there's this hick chick behind me teaching some guy designer stuff..... It's so disturbing... she keep bumping her head into me when she leans back.... Some people shouldn't exist.... This Drama class looks pretty boring too. Anyway I think I'll read my book of something now... Quote of the day: The first words he spoke took the town by surprise. One got Mrs. Gibbons above her right eye. It blew her through the window wedged her against the door. Reality poured from her face, staining the floor. posted by Joel | 12:59 PM Tuesday, November 5 Today has been fairly weird... I got some Garcia's nachos for lunch and that was very yummy but other then that I'm having trouble remembering it... then a couple of tren attacked me and I slew them with my moonblade... that's the trouble with reading fantasy books... they blur into your memoryand show up constantly in your dreams. anyway I started a power point presentation on Martin Luther today and the computer teachers totally failed me... they couldn't figuew out gow to make this simple picture I wanted... of course neither could I so I shouldn't complain... speaking of computers, my dad started a blog last night... this thoroughly scared the crap out of Reber and Jenny especially when I told Jenny that he had read her blog... She was scared that he'd hate her now but not to worry... at least I don't think so. anyway I'm gonna get some rest before practice.. Byers Quote of the day: I am a fighter who's not made a fist. I am a lover who's never been kissed. If I'm alive then there's so much I've missed. How do I know I exist? -Sniper, one of the coolest songs ever Verse of the day: I have fought the good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith. 2 Timothy 4:7 posted by Joel | 4:52 PM Monday, November 4 I carved pumpkins today!!! Yayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!! mine had a big scar on it's face and a tear... It didn't work very well but who cares. Well maybe me but anyway. They won't even sit around in our house and get rotten cause there's no trick or treaters to impress them with... not that there ever are where I live. I've got nothing today and it's time for bed... I'll talk to you later... I've run out of languages to say goodbye in... so well goodbye Quote of the day: First let's kill all the Lawyers -William Shakespeare Verse of the day: And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world could not contain the books that should be written. John 21:25 posted by Joel | 10:07 PM Sunday, November 3 I'm here at rob's house... yayyyyyy.... He's to tired to play grand theft auto 3 anymore... now he's resorted to getting into fist-fights with cops. His buddy went to sleep on his bed a coupls of minutes ago... and I really hate this keyboard that I'm typing on... the space bar doesn't press very well so my words keep running together and I have to go back and fix them... I think I'm done fot now... gnight all. posted by Joel | 12:48 AM Saturday, November 2 So yeah... as you may have noticed I totally failed to post for the past few days.. sorry about that... Anyway we won big last night... Beat Las Banos 30 to 8.. should've been a shutout but they got particularly lucky while our 2nd stringers were out there... anyway it's nice to finally blow out a team instead of having these really close games we've been having. I haven't talked to Krystal in a few days... I better call her today but seeing as she's likely to read this I'm not gonna tell you guys when (I may have mentioned that she likes surprises before) I don't have to do anything today... this is nice... a free weekend... I think I'll get to it now. doviðenja Quote of the day: You lack discipline! -Nick, to a celery stick, which he then proceded to snap in half and eat Verse of the day:He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am? And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God. -Mathew 16:15 and 16 posted by Joel | 11:07 AM |
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